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Sending your child to a
religious school
Are you planning to send or have already sent your child to a school
that teaches only, or mostly, religious education? Maybe you do not
approve of the western influences and modernization in life very much,
or you may even be afraid that your traditional culture is under
threat from exposure to other cultures, and therefore you want your
child to get the traditional or religious education. It is also
possible that religious schools are cheaper and you cannot afford a
better school. In such a case, let your child lead as normal a life as
any progressive school student would. Discuss with him whether this
religious school or institution is going to equip him/her to lead a
progressive and career-driven life, and how would he be able to adapt
to the demands of the modern-day life after graduating from a
religious school. If her school does not teach any modern subjects
such as natural sciences, social sciences, art and craft, mathematics
or English, then you must provide opportunities at home or at a part
time school where he/she can get the same. Encourage your child to
read books on a variety of subjects, besides what is taught at the
school. You can also discuss with the owner/principal of the religious
school to introduce modern subjects in school. Encourage the child to
have friends from other schools – make him visit a secular school to
see the activities of other kids there.
Is my religion better than
others?
There is nothing wrong in having a religious faith - as long
as you follow it peacefully, and allow others to follow theirs
peacefully. Study the tenants and history of your religion properly
– you may also study other religions to understand them better. But
never try to make value judgments about different religions before
children -- don't make claims like "our religion is the most
perfect and relevant for all mankind and all times, while others are
not". Even a claim such as "our religion has everything that
is required for a perfect life and we don't need to learn anything
else from other religions" sounds very arrogant, and should be
avoided. In fact, such claims are made by the followers of every
religion, with as much conviction as you would, so there is no point
in arguing endlessly on it. Tell your child that all religions have
evolved out of social needs - the founders of all religions raised
their voices against the corruption and decadence in their respective
society. Most religions have also gone through a lot of dogmatism and
ritualism in their practices, which may not reflect the original
message they started with. So one needs to first understand the need
for a religious faith before following it.
Don’t wear your faith on
your sleeves
Do you or your neighbours organize a lot of religious activities at
home or in the locality - Jagrans, special pujas, milads, religious
songs, shabads, religious speeches or azaan though loudspeakers? As
long as these remain within your house or up to the houses of people
who don't mind them, it is fine. But if any of your neighbours get
disturbed due to these activities or don't like the noise at all, then
you have to be careful. Always ask your neighbours before organizing
any such events. Never occupy public utility spaces such as roads and
footpaths, and minimize the use of loudspeakers as much as possible.
Think of the students who might be studying, or small babies or sick
persons who are unable to rest due to the noise. Try to finish your
activities within the daytime – don’t disturb the people with
noise at night. If you want to take out a religious procession on the
road, always take permission from the police. Restrict the procession
to as small portion of the road as possible, to avoid disruption of
the traffic. Also keep it as quiet and peaceful as possible, and
finish it very quickly.
Our religious leaders
As part of your religious practice, you may be familiar with some
religious heads such as priests, imam, pundit or guru. Do they
understand the demands of today's life and give you a contemporary
interpretation of your religious belief, rather than just reciting the
old texts? Feel free to question them to clear your doubts, rather
than simply ingest whatever they preach. When they pray for the
benefit of people, do they remember only your community, or do they
pray for the entire humanity. Ask them to pray for everyone and not
just one community.
Celebrating together
In the past, one of the most popular ways of interaction between
different communities in India, was taking part in the celebration of
each other's festivals, and there are historical evidences of that.
Much of that spirit is now lost - it may be hard to find Muslims
celebrating Holi or Hindus rejoicing on Eid in a spontaneous spirit.
To begin with, you may encourage the children to visit other friends'
places who are celebrating their festivals, and wish them. You may try
to celebrate the 'others' festivals inside your home by following some
of their practices. If you are a Hindu, you might like to cook siwain
on the day of Eid, or being a Muslim, try lighting up diyas (lamps)
inside your home on divali. But do these activities in a natural and
celebratory spirit involving the children throughout. Tell them that
they can participate in the festivals and cultural occasions of the
other religious communities and yet follow one's own religion. Does
your child's school organize some activities on the festivals or
cultural occasions of only one religion or community? In that case,
you may request the principal to observe other festivals as well, even
if the school has only one student belonging to that religion. If the
school is unable to organize anything on ‘your’ festival, then
maybe the parent could organize some activity, such as distributing
sweets or a gift to the principal or the teachers, or to the child's
friends.
Respecting others
If you happen to be at a place where the people of the 'other'
community are busy in some prayer, ceremony, festivity, or a
procession, try to be in the same spirit as them - don't look at them
with scorn or disgust - be compassionate to their activities.
Basically give a message or vibe that you do not disapprove of their
activity, nor do you dislike them as a community. You can even help
them in an easy movement of their procession or activity. But if you
feel that their activities are disrupting the traffic and disturbing
or annoying you, then after the procession, tell some responsible
people of that community that the next time they should be careful.
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